community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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