Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize