She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
