i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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