i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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