I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
