we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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