My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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