STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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