who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
