Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
