nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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