Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
