Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
