I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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