I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
