I wanna passion pit in your ass
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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