Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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