Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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