I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
