you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
