That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
