She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
