my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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