so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize