i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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