I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
