Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
