You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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