Will you blow on my dice?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
