So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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