I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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