I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
