Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
