how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
