Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
