So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize