Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize