I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
