Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My cat gives me a boner
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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