HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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