This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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