just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize