everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
