dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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