I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
