butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
