i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize