like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
