ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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