I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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