Don't make out with my wife yet
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
