I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize