Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm always down for nudity.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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