He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize