ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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