Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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