Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
