Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
