i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
