i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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