So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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