Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
