I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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